ASKING-KNOWING

It’s been an interesting week to say the least. For awhile now a chain of unexpected, yet connected events unfolded in my life in a way that prompted me to ask, finally, for information I’d wondered about for years but never given serious thought to actually seeking or asking for it. I awakened Monday morning knowing I would make the call. It took me a minute or so to position myself on the sofa just so, grab pen and paper, place a glass of tea on the table beside me, and give a quick touch to the mute button on the remote, change to pause then back to mute. I had looked up the telephone number Sunday night so I tapped the saved number on my phone and sat up straight. I always sit up straight when making important phone calls as if good posture somehow improves hearing.

After three rings a young woman answered the phone. Ninety seconds and three questions later the call ended. The shelf life of the dated, pre-Google information I sought had expired. It no longer exists- in any form.

I sat in silence. Even in a world of computer stored data I knew there was a good possibility the information would be gone, but I’d chosen to indulge my thoughts in the possibility that maybe it could be retrieved. Maybe I could know.

Briefly, I cried. Then, as I moved forward with my plans for the rest of the day- the rest of the week, I gave little thought to Monday’s phone call. Until this morning.

A few quiet moments over an extra cup of coffee drew a few more tears accompanied by a few fleeting feelings of emptiness. Then came the realization that I’d gotten exactly the answer I needed to hear. Knowing that I can’t know keeps me from wondering about it and dwelling on it. Instead, my thoughts turned to the One who knows all about the situation and all about me.

The One who knows every detail of my life- I can seek Him. I can know Him. That’s my answer. That’s my closure. And that’s my peace of mind.

 

 

 

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