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In 2012 I wrote a devotion about my mom for the church bulletin. More than twenty years earlier I had published an article and a few daily devotions in Christian Single magazine. But I’d written nothing since then. No reason to speak of for my silence. Just life and decisions that put writing on hold while I did this, then that. Before I knew it, decades had passed with no writing. 

Then, in January of 2012 when I found my new church, little did I know I’d also found an unexpected opportunity to write. I wrote a devotion about my mom for the Mother’s Day bulletin in 2012 and continued writing for the bulletin for about three years. After my long dry spell I was learning to focus and meet deadlines and be concise. I came to know and love the people at my church more and more, and I will always be grateful for the opportunities they gave me to write. Especially Mother’s Day 2012. Mama passed away in 2009, but for some reason I was missing her terribly in 2012. Writing about her helped ease the pain.

I’ve been thinking about her this week. I miss her, but I’m grateful for the life she lived and glad she was my mama. 

Happy Mother’s Day to all!

Someone asked me if I feel discouraged. Eight query letters sent. Five rejection letters received. No, not at all was my response. I’m just getting started.

There was a time in my life when I wouldn’t have been so confident or calm. In my twenties I would have thrown in the towel. Given up on the possibility of ever being published. And in my thirties, maybe even forties, I would have questioned my own level of competence as well as the competence of those reading my query letter. (If you’re an agent or publisher who just read my query letter please disregard. That kind of thinking was a long time ago.)

In my sixties I’m not as easily thrown by delays or criticism or even rejection. Don’t get me wrong. I can still work myself into a frenzy. Believe me. Ask anyone who knows me well. In general, though, it seems to me that I’m calmer, and I simply know more as I grow older. I’ve experienced more. Over time, as I watch what happens in my life and the lives of people around me, my perspective changes. I change. The sheer act of living changes what I used to believe into what I know, what I’m certain of.

I used to believe there was a Master Plan for my life, for all our lives. Now I know there is. I used to believe God’s timing is perfect. But now, I know it is. 

So I’ll keep on querying agents and publishers. No doubt I’ll receive more rejection letters. But someday, probably when I least expect it, I’ll find a home for Profound Secrets. I’ll find the place where my novel belongs.

Of that, I am certain.

One down. (I received my first rejection email from a literary agent this week.) Who knows how many to go. But I’m trusting that, in time, Profound Secrets will find a home, the place where it belongs.

Meanwhile, I’ve had an interesting week that included attending a funeral, painting a room, and discovering a new restaurant that I love. And now, I’m hunkered in for the evening, recapping my day. Before I tell you about it let me back up and tell you how I got here.

Last Saturday I attended the monthly meeting of Word Weavers at Carmel Presbyterian Church in Charlotte. I loved it! While I was there I learned about a Women’s Day Retreat that was taking place at Carmel Church today. So I went, and I’m so glad I did! The worship music was beautiful, and I loved the Holy Yoga. Lunch was great, and the day flowed with a natural, easy rhythm of acceptance. My favorite part, however, was the honesty of the speakers, the leaders, and the participants. The older I get the more I’m drawn to what’s real and transparent. It doesn’t matter whether it’s good, bad, or ugly. What matters is that it’s the truth, plain and simple. 

So thank you to all the ladies who helped with the retreat today at Carmel Church. And thank you to all the participants. Spending the day with you was inspiring. Truly, it was.

Even though my stomach felt queasy, I did it. I hit send….several times. And now, my query letter sits in the inbox of several literary agents. You would think I’d be concerned about rejection. What if no one wants to read my manuscript? But I’m actually concerned about acceptance. What if someone wants to read my manuscript? Am I ready to send “my child” out into the world to fend for itself? Even though that’s been the point, the purpose, all along, I feel  a little anxious. I’m sure, however, that if and when that time comes, with a grateful heart and a queasy stomach I’ll do it again. I’ll hit send.

I imagined I’d write my first post on my new blog about Profound Secrets, the novel I recently finished writing….my first novel. Or perhaps a brief bio about myself. Or maybe an overview of some of my favorite books….or my favorite authors. I even contemplated a simple list of some of my favorite things.

But, turns out, I have something else on my mind tonight. Actually, it’s a place. The public library. More specifically, the public library in Indian Trail, North Carolina.

Libraries have most definitely changed from the “hear a pin drop” quiet and rubber due date stamps of my childhood. I not only check out books there, but I meet friends there, revise, scan and fax documents there, and get technical support there. Lots of technical support. Like today, for instance. Stephanie helped me get my blog up and running with a matching Facebook page and Twitter account. Oh, and a new gmail account, too. Who would have ever guessed you could do all that at the public library?

The older I get the more dependent I am on the public library. They keep up with the times better than me, and somehow find the patience to prod me through the high tech, social media door of the 21st century. And I’m grateful. So grateful. Thank you, public library in Indian Trail, NC! And thank you Stephanie! You’re the best!